August 1: Mark Sanchez

If there's one good thing to come out of today being a Monday it's our Magnificent Mexican-American selection of Mark Sanchez, QB for the NY Jets. Obviously, Mark's parents really wanted to capitalize on the fact that he is both Mexican and American because his full name is Mark Travis John Sanchez. As if one All-American name isn't enough, we'll give him 3 just so people don't have any doubts that a high quality product like this was, indeed, made in the USA.

Mark was selected by the Jets in the 2009 draft after winning the 2008 Rose Bowl as starting QB for the USC Trojans. When you put "Mark Sanchez" and "Trojans" in the same sentence, I can't say USC is the first and only Trojan I think of, but that could get a little to R-rated so I don't think we need to go there, now do we? ;)

So Mark - if you're interested in carrying on your legacy without the commitment of a relationship, let me know and we'll skip the trojans. I'm sure my husband would welcome an All-American football player into the family, especially if he comes along with the child support payments of an NFL salary. I promise, we'll  provide a very loving home to little Mark Travis John David William Robert Sanchez. :) Just saying... the offer's there.


Putting David Hasselhoff to SHAME, as if he hasn't already done that to himself.