August 15: Jordan Cameron

After a brief hiatus and as my 10th overall pick in the Underwear ProBowl, I select Jordan Cameron, tight end for the Cleveland Browns. This right here is a perfect example of a classic, all-american, pretty boy.

Mr. Cameron comes to us from the USC Trojans and like fellow Trojan recruit, Mark Sanchez, he's a beauty I would not mind procreating with. However, UNLIKE Mr. Sanchez, it would be much easier to trick my husband into thinking my baby Jordan Camerons were his. :) Just kidding, Michael... I would mostly likely probably never do that... :)

Jordan actually spent his college career at a few different universities and was originally a wide receiver. However, it's no surprise that after a life of excelling in all positions (no pun intended) and sports, he embraced the tight end position with finesse... and with a tight end of his own that I wouldn't mind embracing myself, he will fit in oh so nicely on our team. Welcome Mr. Cameron, I look forward to seeing more (pun intended) of you this NFL season.

Holy Biceps he's pretty.

August 5: Tony Gonazalez

You want to talk about an NFL all-star, meet our 9th overall pick and ELEVEN time NFL pro bowler, Tony Gonzalez, tight end for the KC Chiefs. He holds the NFL records for single season receptions by a tight end, career touchdowns by a tight end, career receptions by a tight end and reception yards by a tight end. Not only is he an all-star on the field, but he also saved the life of choking man back in 2008 by performing the heimlich maneuver. Say, Tony... I think I'm choking, can you please thrust me from behind to save my life? I'll be forever indebted to you.

Tony has the nickname "Gonzo", although I prefer to not call him that because I immediately think of the Muppet babies which is just weird. He is what I like to call one gorgeous pretty boy. Naturally, he has a smokin' hot wife, too... but we will not mention her any more than to say their two children together (+ a 3rd child from another relationship) make him another DILF on the Underwear ProBowl roster. Yes, please, may I have another?

August 4: Terrell Owens

With the 8th overall pick of the draft, I present to you the lean, mean Terrell Owens, Wide Receiver and Free Agent. Despite numerous controversies, T.O. is a six-time NFL Pro Bowl selection and former holder of the league single-game reception record...he's pretty dominant which I'm guessing extends off the field, too. ;)

Some might say T.O. is the male version of a "butter face" - everything's hot, but his face. I'm not sure whether I agree with that or not...  My eyes dont' go up any further than those biceps. I mean, what's the point? I've seen plenty of chocolatey brown bald heads before (no additional commentary necessary) but this body is a worthy of an extra glance or two or seven. AND If you ever seen The T.O. Show and watched him work out, you'd understand why: he has a workout routine that makes me want to throw up just watching it. He could probably bench press me with one arm... bet you can't Terrell, prove me wrong. ;)

August 3: Osi Umenyiora

Ladies, & Gents, say 'ello' to our 7th overall pick of the Underwear ProBowl: London born, Osi Umenyiora, Defensive End for the NY Giants. I hope he has a English accent because that would make him even more enjoyable.

Osi Wannaboneya ;)  has been selected for the NFL Pro Bowl twice and holds the Giants franchise record for most sacks in one game. Rumor has it, he's currently training to earn my record for most sacks in one night...I don't know Osi, it may be tough to beat the current record of oh, I don't know, maybe 1? :)

I apologize in advance for the presence of vaj in this picture, but the pickin's were slim. Enjoy!

August 2: Will Demps

As the 6th overall pick of the 2011 Underwear ProBowl draft, I've selected, Will Demps, Free Agent Safety. The beautiful Will is 50% African-American, 50% Korean and a 100% FFIIINNNEEE! He's been a free agent since being released by the Houston Texans in 2009. Lucky for Will, he's so easy on the eyes that he manages to get by with a modeling career in his free time...I know, such a hard life he must live.

Demps is also the owner of a Wet Willie's chain bar in San Diego, CA where he features dished influenced by his mother's home cooking. I'm betting that our Mr. Demps is just a little bit of a Mama's boy and let me tell you, this is one Mama who wouldn't mind getting a Wet Willie from this pretty boy (and I don't mean the slobbery finger in the ear kind). ;)

Congratulations Will Demps, you are no longer a free agent - you've been picked up for the Underwear ProBowl and as we see here, you have definitely passed the uniform test.

August 1: Mark Sanchez

If there's one good thing to come out of today being a Monday it's our Magnificent Mexican-American selection of Mark Sanchez, QB for the NY Jets. Obviously, Mark's parents really wanted to capitalize on the fact that he is both Mexican and American because his full name is Mark Travis John Sanchez. As if one All-American name isn't enough, we'll give him 3 just so people don't have any doubts that a high quality product like this was, indeed, made in the USA.

Mark was selected by the Jets in the 2009 draft after winning the 2008 Rose Bowl as starting QB for the USC Trojans. When you put "Mark Sanchez" and "Trojans" in the same sentence, I can't say USC is the first and only Trojan I think of, but that could get a little to R-rated so I don't think we need to go there, now do we? ;)

So Mark - if you're interested in carrying on your legacy without the commitment of a relationship, let me know and we'll skip the trojans. I'm sure my husband would welcome an All-American football player into the family, especially if he comes along with the child support payments of an NFL salary. I promise, we'll  provide a very loving home to little Mark Travis John David William Robert Sanchez. :) Just saying... the offer's there.


Putting David Hasselhoff to SHAME, as if he hasn't already done that to himself.



July 31: Cam Newton

Today brings the prettiest of all the Underwear ProBowl recruits, Cameron "Cam" Newton, QB and first overall pick by the Carolina Panthers in the 2011 Draft. I saved this gorgeous specimen for Sunday because a creation this beautiful is nothing less than a gift from God. At the ripe young age of 22, this is one cradle I would be happy to rob.

Speaking of ripe, Georgia should really reconsider being nicknamed the "Peach State" because Mr. Newton is clearly the best and most succulent thing to ever be homegrown there. The smooth skin, the pearly white teeth, the perfect smile...this peach is worthy of a blue ribbon prize! And Cecil Newton, if you're reading this,  I don't care what the price tag is... I'm willing to take out a loan for any "pay-for-play" scheme you can offer to get young Mr. Newton on my team! He's priceless... pure priceless.

I'm hoping this season brings my Cam much success to start his NFL career, but I'm also hoping he takes a cue from fellow Underwear Pro Bowler, Adam Vinatieri, and does some post-game interviews in his tights because I was greatly disappointed by the lack of shirtless photos available. I have a nice camera... I can help you out if you need it, Cam. xoxo

July 30: Chad Ochocinco

Ladies and Gentleman, today's recruit is a six time NFL Pro Bowler so it only seems right that with an ocho-pack (that's an 8-pack for those of you that "No hablo español") like this one, he gets drafted into the Underwear ProBowl as well. Say hello to Chad Ochocinco (formerly Chad Johnson) newly signed wide receiver for the New England Patriots.

I'm a sucker for snazzy dressed brother like Mr. Ochocinco and so I find myself torn because it is SUCH a crime to cover something so finely sculpted. Ay Papi - that body is Muy Bueno!!

And since we're in the habit of speaking Spanish, Mr. Ochocinco... feel free to call me SeisNueve Mami. ;)



Enjoy today's eye candy ladies, hasta manana.



July 29: Adam Vinatieri

Today's spot on the Underwear ProBowl roster goes to Adam Vinatieri, placekicker for the Indianapolis Colts. I'm not sure it's necessary for a placekicker to have a body like that, but please Adam, continue to give post-game interviews in your tights... you won't hear me complaining.

Oh and did I mention he's almost FOURTY years old? What was that murmur from the crowd - did I hear someone say DILF? Yep, that's enough for me to pad his stats right there, if you know what I mean. ;) His four superbowl rings don't look too shabby either, but let's face it - I for one, am not looking at his jewelry.

Welcome to the team Adam Vinatieri and God Bless those tall, dark and handsome Italian genes for making you so fine.

July 28: Reggie Bush

To start us off, I have to pick my own all time favorite: the one and only Reggie Bush, former running back for the New Orleans Saints, picked up by the Miami Dolphins.

I know my main squeeze Reggie became infamous in the media for his on-again, off-again relationship with Kim Kardashian, but I choose not to think about what risqué video recordings they probably made during their relationship. It's okay Reggie, what happened in the past, stays in the past. Mine might not be quite as smooth and tanned as Kim's, but trust me, you don't have to be Armenian to have junk in your trunk. ♥ Call me.

I mean really, what wouldn't I give to be those dog tags?









Intro to the Underwear ProBowl

As everyone was talking about the end of the NFL Lockout and who's going to be playing where - I was struck by a genius idea: The NFL should play a charity game of football for all their female (and interested male) fans that would be similar to the ProBowl in the idea that it would combine all the "best" players from all the teams. The catch? These players would be voted in according to to their looks... and would play in their underwear. Yeah, I know.... best idea ever.

So in honor of this idea, I'm going to post my own personal favorites - a new piece of eye candy every day. For your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

Signed
Your Underwear ProBowl Recruiter